Live The Life You Love 3: Part Two

Tuesday’s Live The Life You Love panel hosted by SingleEdition continued with a spirited conversation about work and dating.

SingleEdition founder Sherri Langburt led the lively Q&A

Human Resources Consultant Alyson D’Anna talked about the importance of self-promotion when it comes to managing your career.

“It’s the key to creating visibility,” she said.

Career expert Alyson D’Anna

Alyson outlined a three-step approach to personal PR – self inventory, career situational analysis and using information from both to advance yourself professionally. She also advised getting a mentor and perfecting your elevator pitch.

Twenty first Century Guide To Bachelorhood author Brad Berkowitz offered some straight talk about where to meet men and how to shake up your social life.

Author and dating expert Brad Berkowitz

“Expand your horizons by going to new restaurants, clubs and bars,” he said. “Never eat alone [at home], because you’re not meeting anyone but the Domino’s delivery guy.”

When it comes to online dating, Brad suggests having a male friend review your profile before you post it. Speaking of the Internet, he recommended Facebook as a great way to connect with single friends of friends.

Brad also said the gym is a great venue for meeting men – though in my experience, you’ll encounter more endorphin-induced scowls there than come hither smiles.

Offline, Brad and I chatted about how to look approachable when you’re out and about, especially in the bar scene. Guys won’t approach a closed circle, so open it up.

I liked Brad’s take on dating and really putting yourself out there. Stay tuned for an in-depth Q&A with him.

Coming up…an exhilarating first date with one of the HurryDate guys and a look at my favorite NYC spots for singles.

Live The Life You Love 3: Part One

Tuesday night, I headed over to Saks Fifth Avenue for the finale of Single Edition’s “Live The Live You Love” series about lifestyle issues from a single woman’s perspective.

Guests enjoyed complimentary make-up applications

Focusing on career, cooking and relationships, the event featured cocktails & hors d’oeuvres, make-up applications, after hours shopping – and a lively expert panel discussion led by SingleEdition.com founder, the fabulous Sherri Langburt.

Business Startup Advisor Beth Schoenfeldt offered some advice for aspiring entrepreneurs, making the case that singles are well positioned to strike out on their own.

Business Startup Advisor Beth Schoenfeldt

“It takes so much time and energy,” says the three-time entrepreneur. “When you are single, you have more freedom to work as much as you want.”

Beth’s top tips – create a strong support system, be passionate about what you’re doing and start (small) with the end in mind.

“Know what your goal is,” she said. “Whether you want to go public, sell it or just make money for a few years.”

Sherri , a successful entrepreneur herself, chimed in about the value of persistence.

“You can turn a no into a yes,” she said. “Unlike the bedroom, there’s always another entrance.”

Entertaining and Food Expert Karine Bakhoum got the crowd excited about cooking for one. The frequent Food Network “Iron Chef America" judge encouraged singles to make the most of their solo lifestyle.

Entertaining and Food Expert Karine Bakhoum

“Enjoy the moment and the time with yourself,” she said. “Think about what you want to eat and enjoy the process of cooking.”

Karine recommends treating yourself like a guest who is coming to dinner – put on some music and break out the wine.

Get inspired, she says, by shopping at quality markets like Whole Foods and stock up on tasty staples (extra virgin oil, balsamic vinegar and tapenade are Karine’s top 3). And be sure to make your kitchen environment cook friendly.

Up next…advice from Single Edition's experts on navigating your career and jump starting your love life.

Opening The Vault: Part Fifty Four

When you remain friendly with an ex, you can feel it when there’s another seismic shift in your relationship. So it was with my California-based old flame Mark (a.k.a Sparky).

After breaking up in the summer of 1995, Sparky and I kept in close touch, communicating at least once a month and rekindling things whenever business brought him to New York. As 1998 began, I was surprised that two months had passed without a word from him. Sensing that something was wrong, I decided to call Sparky. I now Open The Vault and take you back to the winter of ‘98...

February 27th, 1998
Bangor, Maine

Dear Diary,

There’s a hole in my heart today. The reason for it -- the unexpected revelation that Sparky and I are through, for good.

I’d sensed Mark pulling away from me when I moved here a couple of months ago. When he failed to call on my birthday, I wondered if that was his way of saying he was letting go.

Then, on my way to work yesterday, two songs that always remind me of him came on the radio. I had the strongest impulse yet to get in touch with Sparky.

I was sitting here in my living room when I called Sparky

“Call him,” my mother urged when asked for her opinion. “He’s been a very good friend to you and you never know what’s going on in someone’s life.”

So, I dialed Mark’s work number. A secretary answered and then he picked up.

“Hello there,” he said, sounding very upbeat. “I’m so glad you called.”

“I figured I should find out what’s been going on in your part of he world,” I replied.

“Happy belated Birthday,” he said (He didn't forget…). “How are you? Is everything okay?”

Anxious, for once, to skip my end of the conversation, I quickly brought him up to date on work, grad school applications and Mom’s condition.

Finally, I asked him--

“So, what about you? Are you sick or married?”

“Well, you’re partly right,” he answered, adding that a lot has changed in his life recently.

I fell into a chair as Mark told me that he is indeed ill again -- and that he got remarried two weeks ago. Tears welled up in my eyes and I fought to steady my voice.

Mark said his diverticulitis and colon cancer returned during the holidays and that was why he didn’t call on my birthday (he didn’t want me to worry). The marriage happened on Valentine’s Day in Hawaii.

“I’m really glad you called,” Mark kept repeating. “I just didn’t know how to tell you.”

“Understandably so,” I said meekly.

* * *

The shocking news of Sparky’s marriage felt like the final death knell for our complicated love. It would only be a matter of time, though, before fate threw us together again.

Kerry Rhodes Foundation Bash

Last night, I headed down to NYC’s Meatpacking district for the third annual Kerry Rhodes Foundation dinner.

I attended the swanky event on behalf of my client and silent auction prize provider, the Westin St. John. Held at trendy new steakhouse STK, the fundraiser benefitted New York Jets star Rhodes’ efforts to provide educational and financial opportunities to students in underserved high schools nationwide.

The well-heeled, male-dominated crowd at STK

While enjoying a vodka cocktail at the bar, I chatted with charming Sicily-born NYC restaurant owner Vito. There’s something about a man with an Italian accent – especially when he’s talking about what goes into making a good Carbonara.

In the small world department, I found myself standing next to WNBC anchor/reporter Demarco Morgan. It turns out he had the same professors as I did at Columbia University’s Journalism School, shared the anchor chair with a classmate of mine, and knows the WNBC team that I worked with back in my freelance writing days.

“We’re family,” he said. “We should break bread sometime.”

Once business associate Michelle -- who handles PR for the Virgin Islands – arrived, it was time to take our seats for dinner. On the menu, Caesar salad, skirt steak and mashed potatoes, and a vanilla ice and molten chocolate cake that I’m still daydreaming about.

A couple of NFL stars mingled during the meal, including our gracious host.

Me and Michelle with New York Jets safety and philanthropist Kerry Rhodes

We also met Rhodes’ teammate Jerricho Cotchery, who smiled good naturedly when Vito said he had a bet riding on how the Jets do this season. Other celeb attendees included ABC sports anchor Dr. Marvell Scott and Miss USA Kristen Dalton.

After a stirring performance by John Legend’s brother Vaughn Anthony, I decided to call it a night. For a Monday, business definitely managed to mix with pleasure!